Lakers Even Series 1-1: Regression to the Mean

                        "David's coming back next game, right? RIGHT?!?"

                    "I'm going to wear your face as a hat, Tony Brothers!"

  

           Ah, bitter normalcy. In a game that spent a lot of time looking closer than it actually was, the Lakers tied the series with an 87-78 victory. The question is how much would they have won by if Kobe and Pau didn’t play.

            It looked like the Hornets could have a chance at this through most of the first. Both teams sought to attack the paint early on. Carl Landry and Andrew Bynum had a nice little scoring battle early on. Bynum’s success was no doubt aided by the fact Okafor has decided it would be fun to see if the Hornets could win with him sitting on the bench for the majority of the first half, picking up two fouls within 2 minutes. Trevor Ariza tried hard to show that Lakers made a mistake trading him, playing pesky defense, and answering a Ron Artest 3 with his own 2-pointer. It looked like the Hornets would end the quarter up by a few with around three left to play, and that maybe, just maybe, they could actually do this.

            Lamar Odom was having none of that. Fresh off of being crowned the NBA’s Sixth Man of the Year, he entered the game, and the last of L.A.’s offensive possessions went Kobe-to-Candy-Man ally, Lamar lay in, and then a nice 2-point jumper to end the quarter tied 23 all. Odom definitely deserved the award, thanks for asking.

            Things rapidly start going down hill for New Orleans from here. Aaron Gray, after a sensational Game 1, promptly travels to open the quarter and decides to punish himself by letting Matt Barnes shoot right over him for a score. At around 10 minutes, there is nice contest of who-can-turn-over-the-ball-more (Nawlins wins!), which is notable mainly because after this, The Hornet’s defense decides to go for a drink at one of the many fine night spots surrounding Staples Center, and would not be seen again until it returned, half drunk, towards the end of the third. Bynum has ten points before the half, and draws a third foul on Emeka. Reports say he will bring the chair from Cali back to Louisiana, since he already broke it in and everything. The half ends with a disturbing four-minute stretch in which Derek Fisher finishes a fast break, Kobe gets to the line, and Artest gets two blocks. Chris Paul hits the three as time expires, but the Lakers would never relinquish the lead again.

            After an Artest steal to open the game (Artest was awesome, 15 pts, 6 rebs, 2 blocks, 2 steals), Chris Paul does try to get something going by twisting his body in mid-air to draw three foul shots on Kobe. Number 24 would spend the rest of the game looking like he was going to punch someone. LA plays a phenomenal quarter here, Bynum still getting Okafor caught up in fouls and scoring out of the post, Lamar (16pts, 7 rebs) scoring on back-to-back possessions. With with 3:03 left to go, we hear Coach Monty implore his team to return to the game plan, and they do this,  even playing some nice defense for a couple of minutes,and then Willie Green turns the ball over twice in a row, Chris Paul tries to keep it respectable by nailing another three to end it, and Phil Jackson refers to the game as “mud wrestling at its finest.” This confuses the Hornets immensely and they never quite recover. Score one for the Zen Master.

            The fourth quarter is mainly notable because of how disinterested the Lakers look, and the Hornet’s attempt to look even more disinterested. They seriously jog back, and give up an easy transition basket, and Captain Jack has to yell at everyone. They respond by looking at him like “Dude, chill. It’s just the playoffs. No biggie.” The funny subplot of the quarter is Kobe missing shots, getting drug into fouling Chris Paul on another 3, getting T’d up, and then wishing he could kill people with his eyes. After Ariza slaps a ball off Kobe’s hip, sending it out of bounds, Bryant almost goes nuclear. Don’t be surprised if he debuts new Nike’s in Game 3 made entirely out of official Tony Brother’s skin.

            The Lakers handily win a game in which their two best players combine for 19 pts, 25 percent shooting, and 5 turnovers. If that isn’t a scary thought, I don’t know what is.

            Key Moment:

            The halftime show. The Kenny-Chuck balancing act will haunt my dreams forever. Oh you meant the game? The part where Chris Paul and Trevor Ariza play their heart out, and no one else cares.

            What it Means for New Orleans:

            The Hornet’s started to look like the team that should have been swept, mainly because they are the team that should have been swept. Kobe and Pau were awful, and with more focus and effort, Nawlins could have walked out 2-0. Instead, the got outplayed by the Lake Show’s B-team for most of the evening.

            What it Means for Los Angeles:

            I’ll let my buddy and Lakers’ Fan Chris Stockton take this one: “There’s not much motivation even with the Game 1 loss. I know this team more than anyone. They’re going to be on autopilot the whole series, even if it somehow goes 7, it’s so frustrating. But they just don’t care, they get bored, and they’ll go to the Big Easy, we’ll see if they show up.” This is the Lakers in a nutshell. The first round is a warm up.